The Way the Light Bends Read online

  Also by Cordelia Jensen

  Skyscraping

  PHILOMEL BOOKS

  an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

  375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014

  Copyright © 2018 by Cordelia Jensen.

  Seneca Village Map Source: Egbert Viele via Wikimedia Commons.

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Jensen, Cordelia, author. | Title: The way the light bends / Cordelia Jensen. | Description: New York, NY : Philomel Books, [2018]

  Summary: Although best friends as children, Linc and her adopted sister have drifted apart as Holly excels at school, sports, and pleasing their mother, while Linc struggles academically and yearns to be a photographer. |

  Identifiers: LCCN 2017029204 | ISBN 9780399547447 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780399547461 (e-book) | Subjects: | CYAC: Novels in verse. | Sisters—Fiction. | Individuality—Fiction. | Photography—Fiction. | Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. | Family life—New York (State)— New York—Fiction. | New York (N.Y.)—Fiction. |

  Classification: LCC PZ7.5.J46 Way 2018 | DDC [Fic]—dc23 | LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017029204

  Ebook ISBN 9780399547461

  Edited by Liza Kaplan.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Version_2

  For every teen who has struggled with self-esteem and made choices—at times—that reflect this struggle,

  I see you.

  I believe in you.

  In destruction, there is creation.

  CONTENTS

  Title Page

  Also by Cordelia Jensen

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Map

  CAPTURINGWHAT’S ALIVE

  IN RHYTHM

  TOGETHER, APART

  PEER THROUGH

  BETWEEN US

  THROUGH THE DOOR

  SHIELDING

  UNEVEN

  VERTEBRAE TO VERTEBRAE

  CALCULATIONS

  COURAGE

  TWO ROUTES

  OVERLAP

  HOVERING

  MORE/LESS

  ART FOR SCIENTISTS

  SPELL CASTING

  THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN

  LOST TRACK

  SIDELINES

  CARRIAGES

  DIMLY LIT

  DAYDREAM

  COLLAPSING SAILS

  DESTRUCTION

  PROTECTION

  ROSES & THORNS

  ENOUGH CHANGE

  SNAP & CLICK

  TRANSPORT

  THE LONG WAY HOME

  BALANCING

  PRIORITIES

  PLAYING ALONG

  STATUES

  IMAGINE ANYTHING

  INNOVATION

  CONTRASTING

  POWER DYNAMICS

  STUCK

  BEAM OF LIGHT

  QUICKENING HEART

  DUST OFF

  FALLEN CASTLE

  WATCHING

  THEM/NOT US

  TWINKLING

  HOLD TIGHT

  SOMETHING BIG

  TURN AROUND

  MESSY

  GHOSTS #1

  WHOLENESS

  SATURDAY NIGHT

  HAZY LIGHT

  BORN TO BE

  INVASION

  ALMOST

  RESTS

  OUR SUNDAY RELIGION

  EXCUSES

  ALLOWANCES

  CIRCLES

  INSTINCT

  PREDATORS

  WEIGHT

  SUSPENDED

  STUCK

  CUT & PASTE

  CONSIDERATIONS

  STONE CASTLE

  CONTINUOUS FOCUS

  STAINS

  CERTAINTY

  BLANK LEAVES

  TRANSFORMING

  SWIRLING

  OVERLAPPING SHADOWS

  COLOR ADJUSTMENT

  DEPTH OF FIELD

  IN FRONT/BEHIND

  SCHEDULING

  SURREALISM

  LIGHT-HEADED

  PHOTO CLASS #1, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20TH

  26 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DUE

  STRENGTHENING

  MIND-CAMERAS

  COMPOSITION

  TRACING

  COMMUTING

  BLINK & FLY

  DEVELOPINGAUTOMATIC FLASH

  ARTIST’S STATEMENT FOR INNOVATIVE ARTS ACADEMY APPLICATION

  MY OWN SETTLEMENT

  TRACES

  REWORK

  TUNE OUT

  DANGLING

  ABOUT (WITHOUT) ME

  DISTORTIONS

  HAND ON WINDOW

  ARTIST’S STATEMENT FOR INNOVATIVE ARTS ACADEMY APPLICATION

  SHOCKWAVE

  UNEARTHED

  SPIN & CHANGE

  FOUNDATION

  SWIRLING

  LEADING

  CHANGING THE SUBJECT

  DYNAMIC TENSION

  PHOTO CLASS #2, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 27TH

  19 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DUE

  ENVISIONING

  BALANCING

  EXCUSES

  TUNNELING

  RELEVANCE

  MATCHING

  PUSH/PULL

  INDIVIDUAL

  MEDITATIONS

  NEGOTIATIONS

  DEFEATED

  THE WAY THE LIGHT BENDS

  PAUSES

  EXPOSED

  ALMOSTS

  POINT OF VIEW

  LOOKING UP AT ME

  QUESTION MARKS

  ATTENTION

  FACES

  GHOSTS #2 & #3

  A PORTRAIT OF ME

  BREATH IN

  FORTUNES

  REACHING

  SECRET LANGUAGE

  NO DISGUISE

&nbs
p; MADE UP

  A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE

  MELTING

  CHARGES

  SLIDE AWAY

  TRANSFORMATIONS

  INTERSECTIONS

  SCATTERED

  SIGNIFICANCE

  PREVISUALIZATION

  PHOTO CLASS #3, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3RD

  12 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DUE

  2 DAYS UNTIL ROUGH DRAFT DUE

  SURPRISE.

  SHOW MY EYES

  LAYERING EVERY MOMENT

  THE WHOLE SECRET

  SUMMITING

  AN EXCEPTION

  SIDESTEPPING

  STITCHING

  OVERLAYING

  PRACTICALLY

  DELETE

  COULD HAVE BEEN

  SIDE-HUG

  ARTIST’S STATEMENT FOR INNOVATIVE ARTS ACADEMY APPLICATION

  PINGS

  STARE & MEMORIZE

  MONOTONY

  SPEEDING UP

  KEEP IN MIND

  SUPERIMPOSE

  POSING

  SUDDENLY, EVERYTHING

  ZOOM

  SOPHOMORE RESEARCH PROJECT

  DUOFOLD

  PACING

  WHAT’S MISSING

  TRAILS OF LEAVES

  BLANK PRINT

  PUSH IN

  TRANSPARENCY

  A BLOCK AWAY

  REPLACING

  IMAGES

  PHOTO CLASS #4, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 10TH

  5 DAYS UNTIL IAA APPLICATION DEADLINE

  MINUTES LEFT

  HISTORY UNSEEN

  WITHOUT A CHANCE

  PROPELLING

  LOCATING

  AFTER DREAMS

  STRETCHING

  IN ORDER

  POUNDING

  WORTHINESS

  DRIFT & HOLD

  FORGETTING

  A HALO

  FLASHES IN THE DARK

  FRAMINGSOMETHING INSIDE

  DOUBLE MOMENT

  LAYERS

  EVERY ANGLE

  SNAPSHOT

  WATCH

  AT LEAST

  WHAT BELONGS

  SENDING

  IN THE AIR

  OVERTAKING

  CLARITY

  NOTHING & EVERYTHING

  LOOKING DOWN

  PASSES

  NOT SURPRISED

  BLURRY

  SWALLOWS

  TIME-LAPSE

  FADING

  AS, IN, STILL

  GHOSTS #4

  TUMBLEWEEDS

  APPARITION

  VIRTUALLY

  IF I AM

  IN HER HANDS

  IN, OUT

  CYBER SPACE

  FLYING THROUGH

  RISKS

  FASTER/SLOWER

  WINGS

  INTERLACED

  VOICES FALL

  ALTERED

  ESCAPE

  FLUORESCENCE

  JUXTAPOSITION

  BEFORE THE LIGHT SHIFTS

  ABERRATIONS

  SNAP & SCATTER

  HISTORY IS ALL

  PERIPHERY

  FOUNTAIN ANGEL

  DIZZY

  EXCAVATION

  INTERSECTION

  GENEROSITY

  OVERFLOWING

  SOMETIMES

  BACK THROUGH THE GATE

  IN/AWAY

  FUNCTIONS

  TOUCH

  LUCIDITY

  EMPTY SPACE

  GESTURES

  THE RIGHT MEDICINE

  WORDLESS

  A SPACE FOR US

  REENTERING

  ARRIVAL

  BUT/AND/THEN

  QUICKSAND

  SEE BEYOND

  THE GOOD PARTS

  TURN OFF

  PARTS OF OURSELVES

  BETTER THAN

  MAKE A WISH

  WHERE THE LIGHT PASSES THROUGH

  ALL AT ONCE

  LETTING IT OUT

  SIMULTANEOUSLY

  COMPOSITION II

  SHIMMERS

  PROMISE

  GIFTS

  SOMEDAY

  THIS MOMENT NOW

  ONE LAST FRAMEHIGH UP, HOLDING

  Acknowledgments

  CAPTURING

  WHAT’S ALIVE

  With a click

  and a breath

  I capture branches

  squirrels

  pigeons

  two girls

  skipping

  in time

  everything alive, pulsing—

  the park

  the heartbeat of Manhattan,

  of who we used to be.

  Holly doesn’t notice

  the beauty in

  the shape of a puddle

  the curved blade of grass,

  doesn’t remember

  jogs right by

  the trickling stream that

  became rushing water when our wands

  commanded.

  Too focused on her boyfriend Stefano

  on school

  on soccer

  for any memory of us.

  I take picture after picture

  till I’m so far behind

  I’m not sure I can catch up.

  IN RHYTHM

  We used to be

  two girls

  walking

  hand in hand

  arms wrapped around each other

  tight

  her hand deep brown,

  mine freckly, white,

  matching steps and skips

  our footsteps falling in rhythm

  two beams of light

  two stretching shadows

  moving side by side

  in tempo

  in time.

  TOGETHER, APART

  Now we are

  two girls

  walking

  through Central Park

  //together, apart//

  one

  hands wrapped tight around

  my camera, my phone

  the other

  hands wrapped tight around

  someone else

  t p

  w a

  o t

  h

  s

  one in light

  one in shadow

  diverging.

  PEER THROUGH

  Finally,

  we stop in front of our brownstone.

  Being on academic probation

  means going

  straight home

  after school.

  Our parents text,

  che
ck in with me,

  with Holly,

  make sure I’m following

  their command.

  Today

  I have no choice.

  But if Holly wasn’t here, if Stefano wasn’t here,

  I would walk

  straight past

  the house

  turn down the street

  peer through the window

  of the Westside Center for

  the Arts—

  with only

  the wind

  watching.

  BETWEEN US

  Instead,

  Holly & I walk

  through the gate together

  us two.

  But even as we do

  her Greek prince

  comes between us

  grabs her brown hand

  with his beige one.

  The bird carved into

  the side of our steps

  frowns a little.

  We used to play

  the prince slept

  while the princesses

  ruled the land.

  Now Stefano takes Holly’s key

  opens the door

  like it’s his own.

  Once we were Linc & Holly

  trading snow cones

  chasing squirrels

  wearing matching sandals.

  But now,

  it’s Holly & Stefano

  Linc.

  THROUGH THE DOOR

  Holly & Stefano rush past me

  they know Mom & Dad aren’t home

  they close themselves in her room.

  I turn the volume up

  on my talk show.

  Three loud women squawk at each other.

  Open my chemistry textbook.

  Elements that belong to the same group

  usually show chemical similarities.

  As the women interrupt each other,

  I write down the rule.

  My pencil lingers over the words

  belong

  group

  and

  usually.

  SHIELDING

  Once upon a time,

  sixth grade,

  Holly would help me

  with my homework.

  I would help her

  decorate her room,

  or let her score goals on me,

  or teach her a new drawing technique.

  We’d make deals.

  “I’ll help you with your science project

  if you help with mine for art.”

  One day,

  a guy named Gabe

  asked Holly to the movies.

  Mom would only let her go

  if there was a group.

  Holly got Gabe

  to ask Max

  to take me